more anonymous chat

note: this is an actual chat between two people who met randomly. they were aware that someone else could see what they were saying. the words 'Tori' and 'Uke' are from Aikido - they're not names. any identifiable details have been removed/edited

Question to discuss: truth or dare?

Tori: dare

Uke: stranger

Tori: yes?

Uke: I need to know something
Uke: are you a guy
Uke: I need to know if this is considered as flirting or
Uke: um okay so
Uke: if a guy says like dirty stuff to a girl
Uke: is that flirting..
Uke: or he thinks she's cheap?

Tori: well the second option was a statement

Uke: yes?
Uke: be

Tori: so either hes blind drunk and thinks he flirting, hes a douche and he thinks hes flirting, hes a creep and he thinks hes flirting, hes a jerk and hes trying to be a jerk or hes just a dick

Uke: fhsng

Tori: end of story
Tori: that isnt flirting

Uke: oh
Uke: like
Uke: saying he wants to shower together
Uke: and
Uke: such
Uke: you know

Tori: and only an idiot could make that into the idea of him thinking shes cheap

Uke: ALRIGHT SO HE THINKS SHE'S CHEAP?

Tori: ok, thats blatantly sexual
Tori: ok, your an idiot

Uke: I'm just
Uke: you know

Tori: your using to many lines for 1 sentence

Uke: I don't want a guy to think I'm cheap doe
Uke: shut up

Tori: i just said

Uke: well I kinda joked back..

Tori: only an idiot would turn that into the idea of he thinks your cheap
Tori: hes just being blatantly sexual
Tori: hes saying he wants to sex

Uke: yea he's just a friend so
Uke: oh
Uke: right. all guy wants that

Tori: no

Uke: he's just horny then

Tori: all living things that dont reproduce entirely asexually want that
Tori: to say all guys want sex is bigotism in that you;re saying that males cant control their sex drive

Uke: YOU SURE HE DOESNT THINK I'M CHEAP AND EASY???

Tori: ok, he wants sex

Uke: sorry mate

Tori: he wants sex with you
Tori: he thinks he has a chance

Uke: seriously lmao

Tori: if he thought you were cheap and/or easy he would go drinking with you and try then

Uke: well he joked about um
Uke: showering together
Uke: and empty space in my bed
Uke: and asked if I wear bras to sleep
Uke: and yea

Tori: otherwise hes just abrupt/overconfident/sexually harassing you

Uke: SP FUCKING AWKWARD ONG WE'RE GREAT FRIENDS WHUYY

Tori: have you not considered ever that he likes you in a sexual way?

Uke: dunno I'm not sexy
Uke: I don't think I am
Uke: who tf would want anything with me hahaha

Tori: well to be honest, if you search you can find bbw and bdsm so nothings impossible

Uke: well I always jokingly calling him baby and stuff so
Uke: ewww
Uke: dat shit gross man

Tori: ok if you dont think of him sexually dont call him baby

Uke: but

Tori: just dont

Uke: I like calling him that..

Tori: dont, end of story
Tori: unless you want to be a jerk

Uke: but he's cute and reminds me of baby

Tori: dont
Tori: its a dick move

Uke: well he's shorter so he looks like a baby

Tori: unless you think of him sexually it isnt alright

Uke: jfjfmskvc

Tori: this is the problem
Tori: currently it seems like your at fualt here

Uke: I kinda called him that like 5 times a day
Uke: and asked him if he's alright and rubs his arm

Tori: yes, and its seeming like its your fualt

Uke: I'm just being a good friend

Tori: no, your being a girl who leads him on (wether unintentional or not) and then disregards any romantic/sexual advances

Uke: oh but he's kinda a player so I didn't think it's a big deal tbh
Uke: :-(:-(:-(:-(

Tori: it is a big deal
Tori: the difference between players and people like ^ is that players actually allow the people they lead on to follow the desires that they have kindled

Uke: oh
Uke: um
Uke: so this is all my fault then..

Tori: he shouldnt do that either
Tori: and it seems like your doing it unintentioanlly

Uke: dunno but he likes my ring

Tori: just try to be aware of your actions

Uke: but I like calling him thattttt

Tori: and remember my point about bbw and bdsm, people like things you wouldnt, if your going to do something that can be considered an advance think about it before you do it

Uke: as long as he doesn't think I'm cheap
Uke: and no I'm not fat
Uke: or nasty

Tori: i didnt say you were

Uke: bbw

Tori: is something that some people like and i find disguasting
Tori: i used it as a point that people will most likely find anything with a pulse attractive

Uke: I didn't know that boys like someone easily lol

Tori: your subjegating the idea that males experience sexuality in a way different than females

Uke: don't tell me if I hug or caress someone's face he'll take that as a big deal

Tori: both genders experience sexuallity the exact same way

Uke: ah well

Tori: if you do it repetitavely it can be seen as that

Uke: I'm just friendly.. or nice

Tori: and notm only 'normal' people, transgenderalls, hypogenderalls, hyposexuals and genderqueers experience sexuallity in much the same way

Uke: hypo qieers wat
Uke: alright

Tori: hypo = little
Tori: hypo sexuals are different from asexuals in thatv they find people attractive but experience little or no sexual drive

Uke: so if a guy likes me, and I don't like him,
Uke: what should I do

Tori: straight to his face
Tori: dont try to dodge around it

Uke: that's mean

Tori: no
Tori: its the nice thing to do

Uke: but I always make it obvious

Tori: you're thinking about it in that you wouldnt like to be rejected
Tori: noone likes to be rejected, except my friend reese
Tori: tell him, dont be rude just be honest and above board
Tori: it might seem mean but I garuntee its nicer than ANYTHING you come up with as an alternative
Tori: ill prove it if you want

Uke: so if I don't like that guy, I can't put my head on his shoulder and such?
Uke: alright then..

Tori: just think about your actions and if you dont like him tell him
Tori: other than that anything is allowed
Tori: just dont lead him on
Tori: if you think he might be taking it as any form of advance make sure to tell him
Tori: it might seem mean
Tori: but its better than not telling him
Tori: if you didnt tell him he might try to get you and miss out on someone who would have been wonderful with him

Uke: so he doesn't think I'm cheap

Tori: and the longer it takes for him to find out the more hurt he will feel

Uke: glad to know that

Tori: rule 1 in men when it comes to dating
Tori: unless hes a douche no guy thinks a girl is cheap until she acts like it
Tori: rule 2, if a guy is a douche you are at fualt for anything and everything that happens if you date him
Tori: he may be in the wrong
Tori: but you are still at fualt for dating him
Tori: rule 3, honesty is better than any alternaive you have, end of story, no buts, i dont care whatv your argument is this is true shut up i win

Uke: ok

Tori: so basically be honest and accept what you allowed to happen, it makes everyone happier
Tori: becuase it makes you more aware of what could happen so it generally doesnt
Tori: oh and rule 5
Tori: unless your planning on a 1 night stand dont date anyone you havent known for at least a year without trouble (note = adjust this per person so that it is a time in which you are sure is adequete

Uke: I'm a virgin so no

Tori: basically make sure you actually like him as he is, dont just jump in and try to change partas thatv you dont like

Uke: we are just friends. it's just that lately he always make dirty jokes
Uke: well usually online

Tori: ok just make sure your honest with him
Tori: i cannot stress this enough

Uke: he rarely does that when we're in front of each other

Tori: no matter what you think if you have the slightest doubt then tell im]

Uke: we are just good friends

Tori: that is how it is to you, you have absolutely no way of knowing how mhe feels unless you directly ask him

Uke: trust me I'm not his type
Uke: and well my hands are kinda bigger
Uke: not really bigger but
Uke: so yeah no

Tori: it is when you ignore the '10 sacred rules that don't actually amount to 10' that you create a transdimensional subuniverse in which most potential partners are sucked into upon being introduced to you, it is colloqueally known as the friendzone
Tori: and hands are generally not considered to be the biggest factor in deciding wether or not someone is attractive
Tori: and like i said, sexuality is complex

Uke: he's shorter!!!!

Tori: im a partial masochist for example, partial
Tori: ok, so you know for a fact that he finds taller girls unnatractive dov you?

Uke: well it's weird when the girl is taller

Tori: like i said whzt you like isnt what he likes, you might like similar things but noone ever likes the exact same thing as someone else
Tori: and I dont care if the girl is taller
Tori: sometimes it can be very attractive other times it doesnt matter
Tori: as long as noone is at waist height I generally dont care

Uke: he's below my ears haha

Tori: so?

Uke: it's weird the end

Tori: Ive dated a girl you i was at tit height for

Uke: we're just friends omg I just find it disturbing when he keeps being dirty lately that's why

Tori: stop telling me youtr just friends, the fact that we're talking about this proves that you have doubts so tell him you only see you as friends

Uke: I honestly find him attractive
Uke: but well. just friends
Uke: and I don't call other boys baby, just for record

Tori: ok, so now your just saying that you dont like his personality or something
Tori: OR
Tori: He has fallen into the transdimensional subuniverse but you refuse to see its existance

Uke: he freaking kicked a cat in front of me

Tori: and not calling other byos babys makes it more likely for him to see it as an advanced
Tori: ok, he kicked a cat
Tori: so what?
Tori: i hate cats, they grow feral and kill wildlife

Uke: I LIKE CATS THEY'RE MY WORLD

Tori: ok, hes different

Uke: yep

Tori: if you dont factor in personality into attraction than you fall into the catagory know commonly as slut

Uke: I said he's personality IS cute u shit

Tori: which is, in accordance to rule 7, a form of 'acting cheap'

Uke: idgaf about looks
Uke: ok lies. just a little
Uke: his******
Uke: idk god

Tori: look
Tori: the fact is that if you have any doubts about this, and you do and i know it becuase you're having this conversation
Tori: than you should tell him

Uke: what the fuck no

Tori: if you're embarassed dont tell anyone but him
Tori: and tell him in private

Uke: no the fuck
Uke: I've promised not to swear :(

Tori: you have some form of doubt about this, i know you do since your habing this conversation
Tori: so you SHOULD tell him since its the nicest thing tov do

Uke: no I won't tell him no man
Uke: he is cute but no

Tori: so you wont tell him you dont see him like that
Tori: then you ma'am are a douche

Uke: but I swear to god he's so sweet
Uke: but no
Uke: HE DOESN'T LIKE ME U SHIT

Tori: if you were absolutely certain about that you wouldnt be having these conversations
Tori: you have doubts no matter how small
Tori: so even if you dont tell him directly
Tori: frind a way to reinforce the idea of you being just friends

Uke: I'm sure as hell he doesn't like me. just wondering why he's extra dirty lately

Tori: maybe hes going through puberty

Uke: oh
Uke: but he's so sweet I just want to hugggg him
Uke: but I dont like him
Uke: u feel me

Tori: then wait for puberty to be over, or tell him, or find som e other way to reach the same end result of ensuring he understands that you dont like him that way

Uke: or I'll just keep everything this way
Uke: well I always compliment him saying he's cute
Uke: ha

Tori: in which case you're intersecting with rules 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8 and 9

Uke: urghhdcb

Tori: like i said sexuality is complicated and puberty is like a semitrailer driving through your ooriginal perception, what he used tyo like will change if he is currently in puberty

Uke: he knows how to make a girl feel special alright
Uke: he's cute
Uke: a baby cute
Uke: because he's small

Tori: THEN TELL HIM THAT

Uke: wHat

Tori: although hes likely sensitive about his height
Tori: tell him he's baby cute, not just vute
Tori: it will work towards following my advice
Tori: ive had enough of this, your breakings 14 of the 10 sacred rules that dont actually make 10

Tori has disconnected