more anonymous chat

note: these are actual chats between two people who met randomly. they were aware that someone else could see what they were saying, and anyone can end the conversation at any time. the words 'Tori' and 'Uke' are from Aikido - they're not names. any identifiable details have been removed/edited

Question to discuss:
why do you always fuck up?

Tori: I donr
Tori: dont
Tori: damn it
Tori: i fucked up

Uke: because i give up to early

Tori: XDDDD
Tori: xaxaxxa)) I hate my life

Uke: welcome to the club man
Uke: yay :)

Tori: I've been in the club all my life
Tori: huehue
Tori: I don't know sometimes I wish I was 5

Uke: me too how come i've never seen you at the meating
Uke: being 5 would be awesome not a care i the world

Tori: Because I went on the meeting no sure where you went
Tori: Not really sure what you'd do at a meating

Uke: oh i went to the slaughter house 'the meating'
Uke: that explains it

Tori: Yeah
Tori: that's what I meant
Tori: So can we like hang out someday?

Uke: yea we can
Uke: we can hate ourselves together

Tori: Or we'd love eachother but hate ourselfs
Tori: selves

Uke: that works even better

Tori: I don't know
Tori: Sometimes I'd like to just you know end

Uke: nah don't ive them the satisfaction if kiling yourselves
Uke: it wont help

Tori: Who's them?
Tori: And why would I care about them?

Uke: i dont know i just like to talk that way

Tori: Oh

Uke: yaaaaaaaaaaay,

Tori: So

Uke: :)

Tori: Can you tell me who Oliver is?

Uke: he is the little kid in the barrel

Tori: Please continue :D

Uke: you know, the barrel standing at the airport, that hasnt been picked up

Tori: Because no one loves him?

Uke: no
Uke: because people are afraid of what mght be inside
Uke: the think it might be a bomb

Tori: But but how will he get out

Uke: but in trouth it is just a black kid that was abandoned by his 14 year old mother, and that was trying to sneak into a better country
Uke: he doesnt get out
Uke: sooner or later

Tori: So he will die? :(

Uke: securety will get him and they will terminate the barrel before he gets out
Uke: so yes he will die

Tori: Nooes

Uke: but you know what the good thing is?

Tori: No?

Uke: while they are terminating the barrel, they catches the man that smuggled the barrel into the airport
Uke: that man was a the leader of a big human trafficking organisation
Uke: and he was going to make Oliver into a drugaddicted sex slave for some rich 40 year old man

Tori: So where is the magic in this story?

Uke: a unicorn flyes in and revives oliver and takes him to the fairy country where he lives happily ever after
Uke: THE AND

Tori: Mhum
Tori: Well that seems a bit odd he was dead
Tori: wasn't he?

Uke: unicorn magick you know
Uke: *magic

Tori: Oh so Oviler drank the blood of the unicorn?
Tori: Oliver*

Uke: yes but the unicorn was a willing blod donor so it is ok

Tori: That's neat

Uke: Dont you think. :-)

Tori: I do though
Tori: I do

Uke: but tell me what is the thing with that doctor?

Tori: He was only 20 when he realized that he could collect other peoples dreams

Uke: ok

Tori: The only down side of this was that he got addicted

Uke: oh no

Tori: He did not what to live in reality anymore
Tori: Only in other peoples dreams
Tori: That why he became a doctor

Uke: i know the feel

Tori: He specified in childern
Tori: Because they had the most vivid dreams

Uke: 0h god no that is... ghuvwu

Tori: So the day he grew weary of the things he did
Tori: He finally said that it was going to be the last time

Uke: oh good then

Tori: So he though well then I'll just stay for a bit longer this time

Uke: oh no

Tori: So the boy he was operating on
Tori: got extra drugs

Uke: no no

Tori: The dream the boy had was most pleasant

Uke: but...

Tori: The sun was shining and the wind was blowing cooling winds
Tori: After awhile he realized that the sun never whent down

Uke: hmm..?

Tori: And it was then he understood that he'd be trapped
Tori: The boy was dead but he dream did not end

Uke: oh no!

Tori: The doctor started to hate the sun so much
Tori: it angered him
Tori: He desperately tried to find shade
Tori: But it was unsuccessful
Tori: So he gathered rocks to tried to kill the sun

Uke: i am not sure but i dont think it works that way, even in dreams

Tori: You need to understand that the doctor grew crazy
Tori: He could not think straight

Uke: i wouldnt have been able to eather
Uke: id think in kurvs, or like sharp angles
Uke: *curves

Tori: And the only thing he could remember was that when he was a kid he wanted to be a speaceship captain

Uke: oh
Uke: that is sweet

Tori: So in the dream he made up the parts for a spaceship
Tori: and travel to the moon
Tori: For there was the only shade in the whole universe that was the young boys dream
Tori: end

Uke: that must have been a verry happy boy since he didn't allow anny shade in his world
Uke: a verry god story i must say
Uke: loads better then the one i thought up,

Tori: Haha it's fun to do these stories sometimes

Uke: do you ever write?

Tori: Sometimes I write poems
Tori: But like I have some stories

Uke: cool

Tori: Want to hear one?

Uke: i sometimes get the idea for something that could be a cool storry, but by the time i start to write it i just get a new idea

Uke: sure id love to

Tori: It's originally a Chinese fary tail

Uke: ok

Tori: There was once a great kingdom,
Tori: and its great king had a beautiful daughter who passed her days in solitude,

Uke: ok

Tori: weaving garments for the pleasure of her father.
Tori: One day, while she was sitting beside the great river,

Uke: is this an incest storry?

Tori: peering across, she saw a handsome young shepherd boy leading his flock through the pasture.
Tori: Immediately, she fell in love.
Tori: hereafter, she became terribly disheartened,

Uke: better then with his father phew
Uke: why so?

Tori: knowing that, due to her duties at the loom, she would be unable to pursue that love.

Uke: aaah

Tori: The king, aware that by his bidding such despair had befallen her,
Tori: felt great remorse, and arranged for her to marry the shepherd.

Uke: aww

Tori: There marriage was one of happiness from the start,
Tori: and everyday thereafter they grew happier and happier.
Tori: However,

Uke: oh oh

Tori: in immersing herself in her marriage, the princess had neglected her weaving and the great king became angry.
Tori: Unable to reconcile with that anger,
Tori: the great king banished each of the lovers to opposite sides of the great river,
Tori: allowing them only to meet once each year: on the seventh day of the seventh month.

Uke: scumbag king

Tori: On that day, a ferryman would carry the shepherd boy across the river to the princess,
Tori: and return him home at day's end.
Tori: However, if the princess has not fulfilled her obligations at the loom the king floods the river, and the two can not meet.
Tori: The end

Uke: so it is the princesses fault the river is always flooding here at home,

Tori: Haha
Tori: where are you from?

Uke: here i was going on about global worming when it tuns out it is all this lazy princesses fault
Uke: I am from Norway

Tori: Makes sense
Tori: What's your name?
Tori: Odd?

Uke: at first id like to know where you are from

Tori: Madagascar

Uke: hmm that was a first, never talked to someone from Madagascar before

Tori: It's fine
Tori: I can speak some norwegian though

Uke: you can?

Tori: My mother is Swedish
Tori: And I can speak Swedish so

Uke: oh, that makes sence
Uke: heidå

Tori: Bye
Tori: ?

Uke: is that what it means i thought it meant hi

Tori: No
Tori: Haha

Uke: explains why every swedis person i have ever talked to just turns arround and leaves

Tori: huehuehue
Tori: So what's your name then?

Uke: Xxxxx
Uke: ironically, it means short, and i am almost 1,95 meters tall

Tori: Haha
Tori: okey

Uke: whats your name

Tori: Xxx
Tori: haha

Uke: Xxx?...

Tori: I know what you're thinking and no my parents doesn't hate me

Uke: that wasn't it, it is just it is so verry verry different from what i am used to

Tori: Well it means like wild
Tori: Or something similar

Uke: there are so many naughty jokes in my head right now

Tori: Hahah
Tori: like what

Uke: Yr in bead

Tori: Haha

Uke: not a good one but it is one of them

Tori: Yeah well most of my friends doesn't really call me that though

Uke: what is your nickname then?

Tori: Well my second name is Xxx so I'd just make them call me that in school because it was easier

Uke: I can keep calling you that, Xxxx

Tori: Doesn't matter haha

Uke: yea we have talked for this long without knowing eachothers names so it doesnt matter
Uke: how ald are you?

Tori: True
Tori: I am 19
Tori: You?

Uke: 17

Tori: Alright
Tori: You know if you want to I could probably understand Norwegian
Tori: Not sure though

Uke: Tror du at du kan fårstå det?

Tori: Ja det tror jag
Tori: haha

Uke: så flått

Tori: Flått?

Uke: de forstår tydeligvis ikke alt

Tori: Inte allt

Uke: XD

Tori: Jag kan svenska men jag skriver det aldrig

Uke: that is grate for me because i cant read swedish so it is all good

Tori: Haha
Tori: I've been to norway like 3 times

Uke: you have. where did you go?
Uke: i have never been anny longer in sweden then svinesund

Tori: Jesshem and Kongsvinger

Uke: cool

Tori: I don't know what sinvesund is haha

Uke: it is the boarder between norway and sweeden
Uke: we go there for cheap drinks and candy

Tori: That's cool

Uke: it is so expencive in norway so we head over to Sweden to get stuffs cheaper

Tori: Yeah I know
Tori: I've been to sweden a lot of times

Uke: cool

Tori: Do you like traveling?

Uke: i love to travel but i rearly get the oppertunety to

Tori: I kinda do it all the time
Tori: Well not so much now but

Uke: lucky bastard

Tori: Haha
Tori: But I always did it with my parents so uhm
Tori: that sucks
Tori: I mean I love them but you know

Uke: not as fun to travel with

Tori: Yeah because you want to stay up late and explore things

Uke: go to a bar or a club

Tori: Yeah

Uke: chatt up the locals and stuffs like that

Tori: My favourite places are actually the nordic places

Uke: why is that?

Tori: Well ehm they are the funniest and like
Tori: the hottest

Tori: hahaha

Uke: so you like the vikings, haha

Tori: Maybe

Uke: tall and strong, with blonde hair and blue eyers?

Tori: Well I have blonde hair

Uke: cool,

Tori: And my eyes are like green-ish I'd say
Tori: blue sorry
Tori: Stupid phone

Uke: that is as swedish as it gets

Tori: Haha well I don't know
Tori: My dad isn't Swedish

Uke: where is he from?

Tori: Icelandic

Uke: are a vking princes living in Madagascar then ;-)

Tori: Why you ask?

Uke: i am not asking i am just saying, swedish and icelandic= vikings

Tori: Aah okey
Tori: I'm was more or less just born there
Tori: My dad is like an animal scientist so that's why

Uke: ok, do you still live there?

Tori: No

Uke: where do you live then?

Tori: When I got older we moves to New Zealand
Tori: And then I started school so my mother wanted to stay so I wouldn't have to change all the time

Uke: so you are a madagascarian scandinavian living in New Zealand

Tori: If you want to up it that way yes I geuss
Tori: haha

Uke: grate then

Tori: So tell me how do you look?

Uke: i am 195 cm tall blonde hair, and i have one blue eye, and one greenish (made out of glass), my hair is blonde,

Tori: You have dubble blonde hair? hahah

Uke: it is verry blonde

Tori: Damn
Tori: How come you have a glass eye if I may ask?
Tori: Feel free to say no

Uke: my brother pushed me while i was biking when i was 5

Tori: Oh
Tori: I'm sorry

Uke: nothing to worry about

Tori: But I kinda like that you're tall
Tori: That's like hella tall

Uke: yes i have noticed , after all the times i have banged my head into stuffs

Tori: Hahah

Uke: how tall are you?

Tori: Like 175
Tori: So that's kinda tall

Uke: we are all pretty tall here in the north so it is all normal

Tori: I guess that's why I like it I guess
Tori: Oedipus complex you know haha

Uke: the motherfucking complecs?

Tori: Well I guess it doesn't really apply to me but mjee you know
Tori: Ehm I guess you could call it that
Tori: It's like kinda accurate

Uke: isn't that the one where we all secretly wanna fuck our parents?

Tori: "child's desire to sexually possess the parent of the opposite sex"

Uke: yup thats the one

Tori: I think everyone has it a bit
Tori: But not to the actual parent
Tori: Just get atracted to someone that's kinda similar
Tori: attracted

Uke: yeah i have heard it
Uke: i heard about someone that called himself Dr. Oswald Erick Dipus
Uke: In other words Doctor Motherfucker

Tori: Haha you crazy

Uke: tell me something i doesnt banana

Tori: You make me wish I was there
Tori: Like in Norway or Sweden or Iceland
Tori: At a party

Uke: that would be fun
Uke: maybe next time you'll be in the area
Uke: You won't be heading to Barcelone next weekend will you?

Tori: I've been there once
Tori: But I don't know it was alrigth though
Tori: The architecture is like the best

Uke: cool, i wont be able too see it, because i am going to Majorca insstead do you know annything about that?

Tori: I dont.. what?
Tori: I've been to the Canaries islands
Tori: That's close?
Tori: not sure

Uke: Cool, i was going to go there, but we had to reschedule and it ended up with Majorca instead

Tori: Oh
Tori: Getting some tan huh?

Uke: it is hard to avoid it, but i am mostly going to try and relax before heading back to school again,

Tori: Haha okey

Uke: so what do you do in new zealand?

Tori: I try to surf and longboard

Uke: cool, id love to try surfing sometimes,

Tori: Yeah I don't know
Tori: I kinda miss the snow
Tori: You're going to hate me for saying that
Tori: haha

Uke: i am not loocking foreward to the snow when it comes
Uke: i am going away for a reason

Tori: Yeah
Tori: Everyone hated me for saying that
Tori: I was like oooh I hope it snows when we were in sweden
Tori: And everyones else said I was cursing them

Uke: haha
Uke: if you stay here for one entire winter, you are not going to look froeward to the next one

Tori: I have been when I was little

Uke: that is when youi are young, and all you have to worry about, is to not trip when you are skiing

Tori: yeah i dont like sking

Uke: when you are living here and you have to plow every fricken day, and the ground is covered with ice and you faceplant on every second step
Uke: skiing is fun once you get the hang of it.

Tori: Haha I'm clumsy
Tori: not*
Tori: Ops

Uke: ?

Tori: I am not clumsy so I don't faceplant on every second step

Uke: i might be overexciting a little bit, but you are gonna fall, a lot through that winter, no matter how good you are, and it is going to look

hilarious for anyone waching

Tori: Hahah
Tori: I've been to sweden at winter
Tori: I knooooww xD

Uke: do you think that man that allways fucks up is still watching?

Tori: That would be weird

Uke: yeah it would
Uke: how long have we been talking?

Tori: an hour?

Uke: even longer i think

Tori: I was like "ooooooh hello" when you said you where from Norway

Uke: and the time just fleew by after that

Tori: More or less yeah
Tori: And oh yeah we did stories
Tori: That was fun

Uke: yeah two very sad storries

Tori: Witch ones?

Uke: your was more creepy then sad.
Uke: and the chinese fairy tail was a bit sad, because of the ending,
Uke: but mine had a unicorn in it so that one was ok

Tori: Hahah
Tori: it was just based on one
Tori: But I like the ending because it's not sad or happy
Tori: So what music do you like?

Uke: i like most music as long as it is god
Uke: i am listening to Queen right now
Uke: you?

Tori: Oh
Tori: I like Indie and rock and stop like that
Tori: Do you like lana del ray?

Uke: never heard of it
Uke: sounds good

Tori: Radio - Lana Del Rey
Tori: Listen to that song
Tori: It really starts at 0.35

Uke: sounds cool

Tori: Yeah just imagine being high
Tori: listening to that song

Uke: OMG IT IS AMAIZING Ø-Ø IT IS AWESOME
Uke: is what i wold have said had i been high

Tori: haha
Tori: I was going to say something else but
Tori: ehm it make be awkward
Tori: might*

Uke: what,
Uke: i like awkward,
Uke: you just made it more awkward by saying you wanted to say something awkward

Tori: Hahah
Tori: okey
Tori: But It was like

Uke: like what?

Tori: ehm
Tori: Imagine having sex to that song while being high

Tori: I don't know it's sooooo wierd
Tori: I am
Tori: I meant

Uke: nah that wasn't weird
Uke: i say stuffs like that all the time
Uke: and tat would make it even more amaizing
Uke: have you ever done that? ;-)

Tori: have sex? haha

Tori: yeeeah?

Tori: Haven't you?

Uke: while high to that song i meant
Uke: and yes i have

Tori: No not to that song
Tori: I just recently found it

Uke: but you have had sex while high, to a song?

Tori: Yeah

Uke: fricken stone
Uke: r

Tori: The best one that I can remember was In the Flowers by Animal Collecive
Tori: Hahah
Tori: Dude I don't know
Tori: Sometimes Im just soooo bored

Uke: that song sounds like someone having sex on a rubber mattress

Tori: which?

Uke: the intro of that song it is getting better now

Tori: I don't know I like wierd music
Tori: Strange question but do you know any Norwegian indie music or something?

Uke: you have jsut been smoking to much
Uke: no i do not, i am not mouch into norwegian music
Uke: *much
Uke: i prefer english or american

Tori: Hey i dont somke tghat much
Tori: that
Tori: Brb 2 min
Tori: Please dont go

Uke: ok

Tori: bacj
Tori: back

Uke: what were you doing?

Tori: Well I was in bed and it was getting hot so I opened a window and changed some cloths
Tori: It's morning here

Uke: it is 10.20 in the night here

Tori: it's 9am
Tori: so its 10pm for you guys

Uke: yes
Uke: what day is it right now?

Tori: Friday

Uke: i am still on tuesday
Uke: so you are 11 hours ahead of me

Tori: Yeah

Uke: wibbly wobbly timy whymy

Tori: O_o
Tori: haha
Tori: Tell me the weirdest song you like

Uke: the fox
Uke: its like being on ecstasy

Tori: Haha
Tori: What the fox says?

Uke: ringididndingding

Tori: No ones knows what thety say
Tori: they

Uke: actually they bark in a very specific way that almost sounds like someone is getting raped

Tori: What the
Tori: hahah
Tori: You're hella wierd
Tori: I love it

Uke: thanks
Uke: i try as hard as i can to seem so inzane as possibleand you know, wait what is that a coffee machine?

Tori: I wouldn't drink coffee if I where you

Uke: why not

Tori: Are you going to sleep soon or?

Uke: true, but someone just started making coffie
Uke: and i dont know who it is

Tori: The smell huh?

Uke: one moment ill check

Tori: Oke

Uke: it was my step dad

Tori: Oh

Tori: This late

Uke: yeah

Tori: So do you not have school tomorrow?

Uke: no i dont

Tori: Oh
Tori: I'm still completely Xxx in bed

Uke: haha

Tori: The cold only made it better
Tori: and more cozy

Uke: i love crazy

Tori: I said cozy
Tori: You crazy Xxxxx

Uke: haha
Uke: oh
Uke: i read it a little too fast, my one eye is working overtime

Tori: Haha
Tori: Maan you're making me wanna travel so bad

Uke: so you want to come here?

Tori: Yeah
Tori: Norway would be nice
Tori: I have some swedish friends that work there

Uke: damn imigrants

Tori: Haha

Uke: taking ur jubz

Tori: Where did you live in norway again?

Uke: the south norway

Tori: Xxxx Xxxxx?

Uke: yup

Tori: Haha nice
Tori: I know someone from the Netherlands that live there

Uke: cool

Tori: But I guess she's older thne you
Tori: then*

Uke: She probably is but, do you know any more specifically where she lives?

Tori: Oh I thought it was one town
Tori: haha
Tori: Sorry

Uke: no it is like one big area it is one fylke one out of 14

Tori: Yeah
Tori: I understand

Uke: where in new zealand do youlive?

Tori: Wellington
Tori: It's the capital

Uke: cool
Uke: then i almost know where it is

Tori: Almost haha

Uke: it is in the far north on the biggest of the two islands isnt it?

Tori: Far south on the small one
Tori: haha
Tori: So it's close but yeah

Uke: seriusly, damn

Tori: Haha yeah

Uke: where in sweden are your fammely from?

Tori: It's kinda close to the boarder
Tori: to norway
Tori: Do you know Arvika?

Uke: i know it i have never been that far into sweeden tough,

Tori: Oh I see
Tori: But we mostly spend time next to varnern
Tori: If you know it
Tori: Well Värnern there

Uke: ? what

Tori: It's the biggest lake in sweden

Uke: Oh i dont know annything about the lakes, it that doesnt show up on the google maps

Tori: it doesnt
Tori: oh

Uke: and it is written Vänern

Tori: Vänern yes

Uke: yes

Tori: Found it?

Uke: yes i have

Tori: Sorry I'm back had to take my pants off
Tori: haha

Uke: might i ask why?

Tori: It was getting warm in the bed

Uke: ok, one moment agoy you said it was a little cold and now you are to hot

Tori: No I opened a window to make it colder

Uke: ok that was it

Tori: Haha yeah

Uke: Do you have kik, my internett will go out in a few minutes, so if we are going to keep talking i can do it from the 3g pn my phone

Tori: Sure

Uke: what is your name?

Tori: Give me yours

Uke: ok

Uke: xxxxxxxxx

Tori: hahahah
Tori: Cute

Uke: ok i got your message i think

Tori: Xxxxx Xxxx?
Tori: Yes

Uke: yes
Uke: and i have responded

Tori: So are you going to disconnecct or?

Uke: do you want me to?

Tori: Doesn't matter
Tori: I'm just going to stay in bed for like 10 min
Tori: then I'm going out or something

Uke: ok then

Tori: Alrigth talk on kik

Uke has disconnected