the charge of the Leave brigade

(with apologies to Tennyson)

half a life, half a law
half a world backward
all in the chaos of Leave
raved the sick sundered
"Back to the Future, Brexiteers!"
"Slaughter the laws", they howled
into the chaos of Leave
dived the sick sundered

"Forward, to our glorious past!"
was ever there such dismay?
not that the fifty-two
saw the ignorant blunder
theirs not to hear the reply
knowing not the reason why
against both EU and I
into the chaos of Leave
fell the sick sundered

Dover to the right of them
Dunkirk to the left of them
Cliffs right in front of them
blinded, they blundered
stormed at with lies and guff
common sense was not enough
no time for the tricky stuff
Leave the country in the rough
did the sick sundered

"Give up, you lost, get over it"
"Brussels is a load of shit"
"i don't like darkies" is really it
Remoaners often hear
all the world wondered
oh, that this was just a joke
that Leaves us tired, split and broke
English, Welsh and Scot
blinded half by a screen of smoke
panicked and wondered
but the way back was blocked
by the sick sundered

Brussels to the right of them
Strasbourg to the left
EU now behind them
moved on but they wondered
why those stupid British pricks
behaved like selfish fucking dicks
the Empire dream still makes them tick
the crimes forgotten, outlook sick
now all they had left
the sick sundered

when will their minds be changed?
a wild charge of a horde deranged?
all the world wondered
Leave divided from Remain
childrens futures down the drain
thank the sick sundered

your worst best friend

i am your enabler
i am here to help
i will smooth out the bumps on your road to self-destruction
i will make sure you are comfortable in your private hell
i will hold your hand all the way
so i will never be lonely
so i will never feel out of control

my power is to steal yours
my intentions are the best
you will believe i am your friend
the one who never speaks uncomfortable truths
who is always by your side
hanging on till the end
when it is over for you

i will follow you to hell
i will drive the car for you
i will say what you want to hear
i will stay between you and that nasty world
i will run things for you
it will be my pleasure

i will feel lonely when you are gone
i will have nobody to call my own
i will no longer be distracted from my own misery
i will mourn our friendship
i will be alone
poor me