the day the President's head fell off

do not laugh, nay, do not scoff
the President's head has fallen off!
he tried to think a little, but
the cervical vertebrae were cut

the rest of him still tried to walk
but look! the severed head could talk!
his aides ran about in a terrible spin
and tried to stop the infernal din

it shouted "Make America Great"
it yelled about a wall of hate
the White House rang the CIA
and pleaded "come and save the day!"

"his head has fallen off, they said
the rest of him, it should be dead
but it's still blundering about
come quickly! help us sort it out!"

the CIA and FBI
asked not the reason why
wondered why the fool's not dead
"his brain was gone! he's got no head"

they called the greatest scientist
"you sort it out!" they did insist
he groaned and tugged his long grey beard
and mumbled "yes, it's as i feared"

"he never used his brain, you see
and now it's gone, his body's free
to stumble blindly here and there
but look! what's that? oh no! HIS HAIR!"

the hair was crawling across the floor
heading for the nearest door
it cried "oh yes! i can escape
from life atop that stupid ape!"

"the hair can talk!" they all exclaimed
"yes, indeed, but i can't be blamed
for all the stupid things he's done
please let me leave. it isn't fun"

the head was lying quite inert
but his hair was active and alert
then someone had a bright idea
"hey listen - let me make this clear"

"the hair talks sense, but the man's insane
he clearly doesn't have a brain
the only thing that i will ask
is: can we make a President mask?"

in Hollywood they worked so hard
and made a head of orange lard
"a perfect likeness!" they exclaimed
and put the new head on a plane

they glued the head on to the trunk
then afterwards got really drunk
"that could have been an awful mess
but look! it's been a great success"

so it's the hair that runs the show
it looks the same, but you should know
it's vastly more intelligent
than that idiot who was President

so now the country is in order
no wars, no wall across the border
and those of you who are appalled:
be thankful that he wasn't bald