IF...

With sincere apologies to Kipling...
------------------------------------


IF you can spout your lies when all about you
Are speaking facts and contradicting you,
If you can trust no one and people doubt you,
But never doubt that your own lies are true;
If you can't wait to go on with the hating
And lie about the people you don't like,
The lefties, darkies and poofs you keep berating
And the jobless who should just get on their bike:

If you think our proud country's been invaded
If you parrot anything that Nigel claims
If you wear the badge of bigot, fool and racist
And carry those disgraces without shame
If you can't bear to hear that you're mistaken
Been conned by knaves and made to look a fool
When all your decency you have forsaken
And to your leaders, you are just a tool

If you are brazenly obsessed with winning
When your half-baked arguments have lost their gloss
And you repeat the party line from the beginning
And forget your win is everybody's loss
If you have neither heart, nor nerve, nor sinew
And close your ears whenever you are wrong
And keep on spouting all the bile that's in you
And mindlessly repeat the Party song

If you run with the crowd, but without virtue
And worship spivs who have the common touch
And vote for charlatans who'll fool and hurt you
Cos thinking isn't something you do much
If you can be an unforgiving bastard
With sixty seconds' worth of racist shit
Then vote for Nigel and his band of rascals
Cos you're probably a nasty UKIP twit!