Wednesday 3 April 2013

people like us just don't have like buttons any more

so i wrote the application and sent it off but you know how it is with these bureaucrats they take bloody ages to reply and then it's a load of gobbledegook you need a fucking lawyer to read to you and even then permission can be as ambiguous as fuck and you can still get in trouble. i'd checked all the boxes about hate speech incitements to violence racism religious intolerance and all that palaver and tried to make it sound like i'm all compliant and fluffy and gentle as a fucking mouse but i'm not and i know i'm not and they know that and i know they know and they know that i know that they know and neither of us gives a fuck about all of that, really, cos the poor brainwashed fucker at the other end is surely aware what a shitty job they've got but my guess is that people do it because it's steady work and only a few of them believe it but they just think the other way. they're trying it on with me but fuck them, i'm gonna walk that fine line that could land me in a re-education place but that doesn't scare me any more. i know they're watching me cos they make me jump through all these hoops and i can't even tell anyone about me being on the watch list without them messing me around even more and they might even shut down my internet connection which is fucking hard to live with as i'd lose contact with almost all my friends and that happened to someone i once knew but i can't remember his name or what he looked like

anyway they must have been awake or something because i got an answer within an hour saying something about the tone and i had to fill out this other form which was all stupid psychometric crap and luckily i managed to walk the fine line between a satirical answer and an honest one and whoever read it must have failed to understand the different ways my answer could be read but if they'd twigged i might have been sanctioned for wasting their time. and anyway that's why i can't get a fucking office or call centre job because they only want people who are bright enough to follow the script they all work to and if they've got a knack for giving callers what they call 'the verbal blowjob' then they get to keep their crap jobs. i have a super-intelligent friend who managed to get into one of those places and she said it was like a cross between a sweatshop and a panopticon and she did her best to look and act stupid but somehow they found out probably because one of the others ratted on her for even mentioning what it was like to work in that shithole. they don't want clever people any more unless you've been to one of their expensive schools where they teach you never to do or say anything that can be taken at face value and to them that was like being members of a secret club that you might not even notice if you weren't a member and which they might let you join and get a better job if they could use you but you'd never be one of them...and i've known a few and let me tell you, they're so fucked up and the poor bastards don't even know it perhaps because their constant search for money and status keeps them distracted like poor little victims who think they're oppressors which they also are

so in the end i got permission against the odds but it was a bit of a rigmarole and sometimes i wonder whether the people who decide these things in their infinite stupidity are really just machines designed to sound like a totally porridge-brained jobsworth. but i don't think so - you'd have to be very clever indeed to emulate that kind of stupidity and you could eventually figure out if it was fake but that thought gives me big respect for the women i know who seem to pull that one off with lots of blokes but then again i spose most blokes don't take much fooling when they think with their balls and what bloke doesn't do that from time to time?

argh fuck this crap. all this trouble over posting a fucking facebook status and i don't even know how many people will read it as they still haven't built an app that can tell you how many people have viewed your profile or read your status and to be honest, most of my friends have to go through a similar rigmarole when they want to post a comment and people like us just don't have like buttons any more

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