and some more...

...poetry. it just keeps coming out. don't ask me how, i don't know

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shellfishness

and there i was, openhearted but wound-up and bewildered
when it came, that...that scalding emotional lavaflow
vomited from some dark, blinding place bleached black
it's there but you give it no name
your something-something
you shocked me
i'm a bit of a first-timer
every single time

i don't know what to do
there's hurt in all directions
and something in me closed up hard and brittle
and i don't know what to do

we're so shellfish
we drift at the mercy of the sea
until we find a rock to cling to
a place to let life flow through us
to stop wanting and start having
whatever life the tide brings
we keep ourselves in a hard shell
until its safe to open up

that sounds all wrong
i really should say

i'm so shellfish
i drifted at the mercy of the sea
and now i've found a rock to cling to
a place to let life flow through me
to stop wanting and start having
whatever life the tide brings
i kept myself in a hard shell
until it was safe to open up

i'm such a coward
with these things
but i'm trying

we need clean water to thrive
if it's gritty we get all clogged up
and stop growing
it takes a lot of effort to clean all that crap out
and you feel really dirty inside
but there is a bright side
it does produce the odd pearl
and my shell's shut tight

and i still don't know what to do
and i'm sorry i'm so busy
i'm in a good place
and it feels really sad but
i'm not where you are
and i don't really know where i'm going
and our paths might not cross
but i have to go there
and if i didn't, i wouldn't be me any more
and you don't want that
so i have to go
and i'm so sorry
my love