I don’t want this for my children [reblog]

http://littleeandbean.com/me/i-dont-want-this-for-my-children/

In the days following the election result a host of articles were written in defence of our new government and its plans for continued austerity. Each time I read one it felt like a kick in the guts. But contrary to popular opinion, my upset wasn’t sour grapes at ‘losing’ the election. It wasn’t even frustration that privileged white men are once again dictating the future of our country. It was about being frightened. I’m frightened because British politics perpetuates a culture of victim blaming that labels the vulnerable as tiresome, dispensable inconveniences. I’m frightened because I understand what it’s like to be vulnerable and to fall from a tiny precipice of financial security. And I’m frightened because after escaping relative poverty once already I’m within touching distance of it again.

with a link to this

first, they censored the porn sites

first, they censored the porn sites, but i didn't watch porn, so i did nothing

then, they censored the radical politics sites, but i wasn't a radical, so i did nothing

then, they censored the civil liberties and justice sites, but i wasn't a campaigner, so i did nothing

then they censored me, and there was no information about how to stop them

UK pornography industry proposes user ID checks for adult websites

why donating food waste to charities isn't a very good idea

i've been seeing my friends share a link to this article and others like it. it's about a guy who forced French supermarkets to donate food waste to charity by law. fair enough, you might say: but i see a number of problems with this approach

but first, some background. supermarkets routinely over-order, because heaven forbid that they might run out of Cameron's Fairtrade Sundried Tomato Soup with Free Range Guinea Pig Thighs so the customer has to choose something different. they can do this mainly because they screw their suppliers, who generally speaking are the ones who pay for all their BOGOF promotions and the like. read Joanna Blythman's book "Shopped: The Shocking Power of British Supermarkets" for an in-depth expose of how suppliers get screwed, and more

this leads inevitably to some items passing their 'sell-by', or 'best before', or 'use before' date, or whatever they might call it. and as you probably know, they throw this food out in bins that are almost always locked and behind high railings. most of them also actively destroy the food so as to stop 'freegans' taking it

[btw: there's also a large amount of 'upstream' waste in the supply system, before it even reaches the supermarket, but that's another question]

anyone can see just how plain wrong that is. it's reminiscent of what John Steinbeck described in this passage of The Grapes of Wrath:

"The people came for miles to take the fruit, but this could not be. How would they buy oranges at twenty cents a dozen if they could drive out and pick them up? And men with hoses squirt kerosene on the oranges, and they are angry at the crime, angry at the people who have come to take the fruit. A million people hungry, needing the fruit—and kerosene sprayed over the golden mountains."

so the kind and thoughtful Arash Derambarsh got his idea on to the French statute books, and fair play to him - it's a well-meant gesture and i'm sure he's a really great bloke

however: the dynamic it introduces isn't very good, if you look at the bigger picture. here's why

- the overall objective should be to stop wasting food at all stages of the production, delivery and consumption process. some food waste is inevitable, such as carrots mashed by the harvester, dead chickens, sick pigs and half-rotten potatoes, but making edible food waste of this type part of a system of relief for poor people embeds the waste into the system, introducing a counter-incentive to eliminating avoidable waste altogether

- the nutritional quality of this out-of-date food is necessarily poorer than fresh food. clever technologists may be able to disguise many of the effects of ageing on food, but the nutrients deplete quickly. why should poor people have sub-standard food? it's conceivable that some people would be forced to rely on this sub-standard food - and it's a fact that poor people's eating habits, for various reasons, are known to be the cause of health problems. everyone has a right to proper nutrition but this adds a dynamic that means some of the poorest and most vulnerable, who probably are in need of decent nutrition more than so many others, will be eating what the rest of us consider inedible. there's a reason for those sell-by dates, remember

- he's stopped supermarkets from destroying the thrown-away food with bleach, and made them give it to charities instead. personally, i think charities are a Very Good Thing: when they're small, and local, they can respond flexibly to changing local needs. however - and here i must admit that i don't know much about how French charities operate - supermarkets usually prefer to deal with a few big entities rather than small, local ones, and many of those charities (in the UK, at least) appear to be businesses in all but name, with their own interests. in fact, many businesses set up charities as part of a combined PR/Branding and Corporate Social Responsibility drive, and they don't always do it out of the kindness of their hearts, as the subtext of this article implies. i'm sure you can see that the interests of a large charity, on which many people depend for their jobs, means that it will in one way or another ensure its own existence. what would these charities do if there was no food waste? surely we want to stop wasting food, not making it a necessary part of someone's business model? i think it would be better if people could simply take the food that would otherwise be thrown out. it cuts the charity and the perverse incentive it introduces out of the loop altogether

- this is nothing but a sticking plaster on a much bigger sore: the one of inequality. you can be sure that the PR departments will be busy so people forget the real issue, which is people not having enough to eat. many people might just come to accept poverty as 'just one of those things' and the corporate PR will no doubt dish up messages which salve the conscience of those who can see the problems but don't do anything: the fact is that food banks and people relying on charity in some of the richest countries in the world is a crime of neglect. a Danish writer once described Denmark as "a country where few have too much, but fewer too little". i wish you could say the same about the UK

so, dear Arash Derambarsh: i'm sure you, and the others who have been inspired by your actions, have the very best intentions - i just don't think that the road you've chosen leads to where we need to go

<shameless plug>btw: i work here. our total food waste amounts to about a carrier bag full for every 200 customers</shameless plug>

in the future

in the future, all CCTV cameras will be gold-plated and their mirrored surfaces will reflect the smiley faces all around them. now be a good boy and eat your Prozac

in the future, all conspiracies will be delivered as flat-packed, self-assembly models for your convenience. loose screws and secret passwords not included

in the future, all police batons will be painted in bright friendly colours, pepper spray will smell of roses, riot shields will feature edgy street art, and water cannon will also dispense bubbles. police beatings will be an aesthetically pleasing and culturally enriching experience for the whole family

in the future, all cells will be decorated tastefully by the latest interior designers. your bed will be of memory concrete and the electric shock machine will be by Phillipe Starck. waterboarding will use only San Pellegrino spring water and sleep will be deprived by the latest X Factor hits. your cold chicken's-feet-and-potato-peel soup will be delivered by a liveried waiter with a cheery smile. we hope you enjoy your prison-cultural experience

in the future, the standard NSA spyware on every computer will send you the cutest kitten pics, the funniest memes, the cheapest viagra, and will assist you with lost passwords. we're putting the "Service" back into "Secret Service". we hope you enjoy your complete loss of online privacy

in the future, all elections will be talent contests and voting will be via premium-rate text message. contestants will deliver 30-second soundbites to a panel of judges chosen from the press, military and corporate worlds. challenging or subversive opinions will be eliminated in the first round. x-democracy - it's the modern way

in the future, all data will be filtered for your protection. be safe - don't trust your flaky judgment to decide what's good for you. to opt out of this service, please visit your local Subversives Registration Office or contact your Internet Surveillance Provider at weloveyou@gov.uk

in the future, government lies will contain only artificial sweeteners. join us in the fight against truth decay by tweeting your preferred illusions to @ilovebigbrother. first 5000 tweeters get free mental floss (orwellian terms and conditions apply)

in the future, information supplied to the authorities about your friends and family will be rewarded with air miles and points on your loyalty card. join this scheme by tweeting the hashtag #surveillanceisprivacy to @mi5

in the future, pre-natal DNA screening will mean a 60% discount on your health insurance. genetic anomalies will be classed as pre-existing conditions and excluded from your coverage. for more info tweet us @designerbabies, where you can download our free magazine "Popular Eugenics". be responsible: use in-vitro

in the future, all books will consist of links to other books and be exactly 140 characters long. complex thoughts will have to stop mid-sen

in the future, everyone will be a totally unique individual, just like everyone else. we will celebrate our diversity in identical ways, do anything we want (as long as it's pretty much the same as usual), and find our very own way of following the herd. be different: choose uniformity

in the future, all activism, self-help, criticism of authorities, community projects, self-determination, grassroots organisation, creative public works, and associated activities, will be in contravention of the Prevention of Doing Anything Act (2016) and subject to 10 years of crushing boredom and the loss of your internet connection

in the future, your cyborg helper will read this for you, but will censor the interesting parts - for your own protection

in the future, dreams will be taxed at a content-related rate. surreal and erotic dreams must be confessed to your local Dream Fee Officer. only positive dreams will be taxable - the nightmare begins when you wake up

an unusual day

i'd only gone out for an hour or so to get some supplies so Mother was still in the house. when i got back, i couldn't get in. the entire driveway was blocked with a huge reel of cable and three sheepish workmen in grubby yellow hi-viz jackets

"will you be wanting to get in?" asked one. "we're just laying some cable"

"cable? what on earth for?"

"it's internet cable"

"what? there hasn't been any internet for more than a year!"

"well i never use it anyway. we won't be long - a few hours at the most"

we haven't even had electricity for at least six months. not since it all went off, anyway... and there aren't that many people left. there was only one other occupied house out of a hundred or so on our street. like them, we'd survived when the sickness suddenly hit us. nobody knew why and i hadn't bothered trying to find out - the people who knew were probably gone. thank god for warehouses and tin cans

"but...why? there's no electricity"

"i dunno. it's our job, see... and we get on all right, me and the lads, so we just carry on, here and there. we've still got half the reel left, see?"

i looked. there must have been miles of cable left. they'd rigged ropes to the massive reel so they could pull it along, with their tools, food and a few belongings on a little cart behind. they looked happy, digging away with their picks and shovels, but the small trench they'd dug seemed to start nowhere. a friendly gang of workmen, cracking jokes in that blokey way, keeping things at a distance any way they could. they must have gone quietly mad after it all happened, poor blokes. some people simply couldn't handle it

"erm... would you like a cup of tea? i haven't got proper milk but we've got all the rest. the water's ok too - it's from the butt but it's fine"

all three stopped and exchanged bewildered glances

"tea? you've got tea? i'd love a cuppa, me... lads?" they all nodded eagerly

"yes - i've been trying to survive, gathering this and that. so if you could move your reel of cable out of the way, i'll get in the house. Mother's in there, and she's probably wondering what's going on"

"oh! sorry. hey lads!"

they gathered their ropes and pulled the drum a few feet along the road. i went into the house and sorted out three cups on the little gas cooker i'd been using. we had enough gas for at least another year - it was easy to drag the big bottles on the ice last winter, when it froze

they seemed happy for the tea and drank it carefully, savouring each sip as a special treat. they hadn't had a cuppa in months, it turned out. we talked

"i know it looks a bit funny that we're doing this, like, but we don't really know how to do anything else, and my mates - well, they're a bit simple and they like routines. they're good blokes and we get along well, so we just carry on. with a bit of luck we'll find a new reel of cable when this one's done, in about half a year, i reckon. i reckon we do all right, the three of us. it's a steady job, after all"

poor blokes - driven mad by it all, in their own harmless way. i went inside to Mother as it was getting dark. as i left, the talkative one handed me a folded note

"i've written something for you. we're on our way soon. we've got to keep moving so we can lay the rest of this reel"

i went inside and sat down with Mother, who didn't seem to have noticed anything at all. i lit the stub of candle - she just sits in the dark, which irritates me, but she's getting old. i'm lucky she's not much bother. all she does is sit in her chair these days

i could just make out the pencilled words on the grubby note...

- sorry for looking through your window, but you should know that your mother is dead

140 shady characters

this is my very first novel. it's a bit short - 140 characters in all - but people are busy these days and i can't find a publisher. the end
— Rich N Famous (@richnfamous59) February 19, 2015

a conversation with my conscience

- ok, so what are we going to write about today, boss?

- fuck off. i'm not in the mood

- but you're supposed to write something! you'll never be a writer if you don't write anything

- what if i don't feel like it? what if i have no ideas?

- doesn't matter. write some rubbish - they'll never notice

- who's 'they'?

- your readers

- i haven't got any. not really. the odd one or two, perhaps

- then why do you do it?

- i don't - not now, anyway. now please shut up and leave me alone

- i can't. i'm your conscience and when i'm bad, i never shut up. you should know that

- look, this isn't doing either of us any good. i don't have anything to say and you won't shut up. it's a bit one-sided, eh?

- oh. i didn't know you felt that way. i thought i was doing you a favour, reminding you to write something

- well you are, i suppose... i just wish you weren't so irritating sometimes

- do you want me to go away? i can if you like...

- no! ffs... i didn't mean it like that. sorry. it's just... y'know, like...whatever. i'm blank and uninspired right now. what's the point? can you tell me?

- i dunno. i can't answer questions like that. you'll have to ask your creativity about that sort of thing

- oh right... where is it? can you find it for me?

- let me see...it seems to have gone away for a bit. sorry. it's like that - a bit unreliable at times, sometimes hyperactive, sometimes hard to find at all

- you're right about that. hey - when it comes back, can you do me a favour and let me know?

- oh, you'll know. it makes a lot of noise when it's here, but it's a bundle of laughs too so i live with the mess and chaos

- thanks for the chat. maybe you'll shut up for a bit now?

- i'll try