a quickfire poem...inspired by a friend

Lisa's poem is here. this was my response

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my ideas come in a tumble or flood
like a flash of a lightbulb or a rush of the blood
that reveals what is hidden and finds what it lost
just as sure as cowshit will turn to compost
there's often a diamond amongst broken glass
and i often find it while sat on my arse
so when i do nothing and people complain
'i'm not doing nothing', i try to explain
'i'm mining my musings and and pondering so,
when you ask what i'm up to, i'll say "i don't know"'

but i do, really

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quote from A A Milne, illustration by E H Shepard

Workfare Wednesday: Still no pay at the YMCA

Article: http://www.boycottworkfare.org/?p=2428

so i changed an old song a bit:

-------------

Young folks, when you’re stuck in a hole
I said, young folks, you can find a new role
I said, young folks, when you’re broke on the dole
There’s no need to be unhappy.

Young folks, there’s a place you can go.
I said, young folks, you won’t get any dough
You’ll be sanctioned, if you choose to decline
To get nothing for your own time

You’ll get no pay at the YMCA
You’ll get no pay at the YMCA

You’ll be forced to do work, and you’ll have to behave
You’ll be happy there as our slave

You’ll get no pay at the YMCA
You’ll get no pay at the YMCA

You’ll be royally screwed, cause you cannot refuse
You’ll be singing the Workfare Blues

Young folks, are you listening to me?
I said, young folks, what do you want to be?
I said, young folks, you can’t follow your dreams.
But you got to know this one thing!

No one does it all by himself.
I said, young folks, put your pride on the shelf,
We’ll exploit you, and you won’t get a job
Now get working and shut your gob!

You’ll get no pay at the YMCA
You’ll get no pay at the YMCA

You’ll do menial tasks for Duncan Smith to enjoy,
They’ll take men and treat them as boys

You’ll get no pay at the YMCA
You’ll get no pay at the YMCA

i mess about in Photoshop too:





i'll post some more by and by

what Katy did...

a certain Miss Anchant got me writing letters...here goes. this is a letter to Michael Gove, written in 2016

...........

dear Michael (att your press officer)

thanks for the invite to your tour of the Modern Free Academy school. The flight back from west Wales was fun and of course the champagne and oysters were fab. i really appreciate what a risk it is you're taking by adopting some of the more radical ideas - homeschooling, hands-on learning in a 'real-world' environment, with a dash of Montessori - which must be a pain to implement. after all, the Tories are known to be rather conservative in these matters ('lol') and i take my hat off to your courage and far-sightedness in reforming our failing education system. too many kids these days leave school with unrealistic expectations of the world of work and i'm so pleased you're helping eradicate this particularly form of cruelty.

i'd appreciate it, however, if you could get your people to clear a few things up:

- you took pains to explain about the 'hands-on' aspect and i can see that a coalmine is a real educational opportunity: combining geology, woodwork and physical exercise is a true masterstroke. however, as most of the children appeared to be almost naked, i wonder if you've considered that this might attract paedophiles into teaching?

- you've talked many a time about the loss of family values and i agree: something must be done. i'm so pleased that the kids all eat together. it all went a bit quickly and i couldn't see what was in the pot, but i was rather worried about their lack of manners. some of the younger children were simply pushed aside in the rush. on the plus side, the potatoes and turnips weren't served too hot so none of them got their fingers burned eating lunch. and no plates means no washing up? what a brilliant move: you're putting our taxes to the best possible use by saving where you can

- i was also a little concerned about this 'unschooling' business. i know it's all about the kid's own curiosity, but do the staff have to be so uninvolved? i admit that six teachers to 200 kids is about as efficient a use of teaching resources as i've ever seen, but they didn't appear to do anything but stand around leaning on their walking sticks (as a note: i'll use this to work a 'jobs for the disabled' angle into the article). i'm sure there are many qualified candidates to be had amongst the priests that seem to be leaving the Catholic church in droves these days - most with excellent references - so perhaps you've gone a bit too far on this one

- most of all, i'm concerned about how the coal produced might affect our carbon footprint. i know it's getting colder at these latitudes but my place in the south of France is now unbearably hot in summer

and Banham is definitely the right man for the job. we need more schools run by people with real-world business experience and his time spent running coalmines is very relevant for the task in hand

anyway, see you at Nat's bash in Capri: can you remind Gideon to keep his mouth shut next time? last time he blabbed to the press about Mandelson and that Deripaska bloke and i had to pull in a few favours to stop that one 'going viral', as they say these days

cheers, Paul Dacre

-----------

with thanks to Emma for the inspiration

people like us just don't have like buttons any more

so i wrote the application and sent it off but you know how it is with these bureaucrats they take bloody ages to reply and then it's a load of gobbledegook you need a fucking lawyer to read to you and even then permission can be as ambiguous as fuck and you can still get in trouble. i'd checked all the boxes about hate speech incitements to violence racism religious intolerance and all that palaver and tried to make it sound like i'm all compliant and fluffy and gentle as a fucking mouse but i'm not and i know i'm not and they know that and i know they know and they know that i know that they know and neither of us gives a fuck about all of that, really, cos the poor brainwashed fucker at the other end is surely aware what a shitty job they've got but my guess is that people do it because it's steady work and only a few of them believe it but they just think the other way. they're trying it on with me but fuck them, i'm gonna walk that fine line that could land me in a re-education place but that doesn't scare me any more. i know they're watching me cos they make me jump through all these hoops and i can't even tell anyone about me being on the watch list without them messing me around even more and they might even shut down my internet connection which is fucking hard to live with as i'd lose contact with almost all my friends and that happened to someone i once knew but i can't remember his name or what he looked like

anyway they must have been awake or something because i got an answer within an hour saying something about the tone and i had to fill out this other form which was all stupid psychometric crap and luckily i managed to walk the fine line between a satirical answer and an honest one and whoever read it must have failed to understand the different ways my answer could be read but if they'd twigged i might have been sanctioned for wasting their time. and anyway that's why i can't get a fucking office or call centre job because they only want people who are bright enough to follow the script they all work to and if they've got a knack for giving callers what they call 'the verbal blowjob' then they get to keep their crap jobs. i have a super-intelligent friend who managed to get into one of those places and she said it was like a cross between a sweatshop and a panopticon and she did her best to look and act stupid but somehow they found out probably because one of the others ratted on her for even mentioning what it was like to work in that shithole. they don't want clever people any more unless you've been to one of their expensive schools where they teach you never to do or say anything that can be taken at face value and to them that was like being members of a secret club that you might not even notice if you weren't a member and which they might let you join and get a better job if they could use you but you'd never be one of them...and i've known a few and let me tell you, they're so fucked up and the poor bastards don't even know it perhaps because their constant search for money and status keeps them distracted like poor little victims who think they're oppressors which they also are

so in the end i got permission against the odds but it was a bit of a rigmarole and sometimes i wonder whether the people who decide these things in their infinite stupidity are really just machines designed to sound like a totally porridge-brained jobsworth. but i don't think so - you'd have to be very clever indeed to emulate that kind of stupidity and you could eventually figure out if it was fake but that thought gives me big respect for the women i know who seem to pull that one off with lots of blokes but then again i spose most blokes don't take much fooling when they think with their balls and what bloke doesn't do that from time to time?

argh fuck this crap. all this trouble over posting a fucking facebook status and i don't even know how many people will read it as they still haven't built an app that can tell you how many people have viewed your profile or read your status and to be honest, most of my friends have to go through a similar rigmarole when they want to post a comment and people like us just don't have like buttons any more

Black Monday...

Man with terminal brain cancer told he's 'fit for work'

benefit-bureaucrats-atos-killed-my-father-says-13-year-old-boy-

Blind, half-paralysed man dies day after Atos stop his benefits

Ex-RAF serviceman from Lincoln kept alive by portable machine has benefits stopped

Man died while waiting for benefits saga to end

A WOMAN whose disabled partner was found hanged is warning of the “devastating’’ effects of impending changes to disability benefits.

Suicidal bi-polar 'fit for work'

Wansbeck MP shows Northumberland man's suicide note to PM

A “VULNERABLE’’ disabled man who took his own life felt pressurised by changes to the benefits system, says his partner.

Atos scandal: Man found fit to work despite peeling bones

The tragedy of Alice - How the Work Capability Assessment costs lives - its impact on people with mental health problems is more serious than Atos have acknowledged.

Disabled man in 'constant pain' told he is fit for work

Blind woman ordered back to work wins benefits battle

Lung transplant patient's benefits cash slashed from £130 to £21

Grandfather from Carshalton Zan Marseilles told he is fit to work despite traumatic brain injury

A forty-four year old former fisherman who has been suffering with Multiple Sclerosis for more than six years has been told he is fit to work, and not entitled to Employment Support Allowance.

Fit to work Dad had heart attack

Birmingham dad dies of heart condition after being ruled 'fit for work'

Demand for fairer benefits tests as two die

You're fit to work, benefits chiefs tell cancer patient

My ill wife had to fight for benefits up until she died

Benefits appeal woman Cecilia Burns from Strabane has died

Get ready for work: what woman who needs constant care was told - Ruth Anim has learning difficulties, a heart problem and epilepsy. A work capability test by Atos said she should prepare for a job

voting? yeah, right...

[originally posted on Facebook]

all the while the power to create money is in the hands of private banks, then our so-called democracy will never work properly. our voting system is rigged in that it's not about who you vote for, but what they're able to do because the real power lies elsewhere: in the small number of individuals that, by controlling the money supply, decide the state of the economy - what your interest payments are, how much you pay for a place to live, and how many people are employed. that's real power

this isn't a crackpot theory: senior bankers have admitted that this is how the system works

http://www.positivemoney.org/2012/06/banking-vs-democracy-how-power-has-shifted-from-parliament-to-the-banking-sector/

while they have this influence, your vote counts for a lot less than it could, regardless of who you vote for, what electoral or governmental system you have, as it is corrupt - and corrupting - in its very essence

if you don't believe me, have a read of the pamphlet

"Only puny secrets need protection. Big secrets are protected by public incredulity." - Marshall McLuhan

ps: i think technology will play a key role in changes to democracy, as it makes the current system obsolete. think of it this way: if we'd had the internet 300 years ago, we'd never have needed a the system of representative democracy at all. we elect MPs because, once, we couldn't *all* be part of the conversation and directly involved with decision-making process, but now we can. look - you're already doing it

How to Get On in Society

jus' riffin' on John Betjeman's 'How to Get On in Society'

How To Get Pissed Off at Society

Text me your email, Orlando
The license man's at the door
The sprogs have downloaded some horrible app
And spread Fisher Price on the floor

Is it heating or eating today, dear?
I'm like well tired of this, innit
My lottery ticket was crumpled and dead
And you've got to be out of it to win it

And as for that fucker on Facebook
I don't know why you don't block'em
The iPlayer's dead and it's fucking my head
I wanna find someone and sock'em

Now here is a council tax sandwich
And do use the wifi for ever
There's something I've wanted to ask you
Is Skrillex big, stupid or clever?

The bastards have taxed my spare bedroom
The food cheques have bounced at the bank
I'm going to parliament like White Van Man
I'll be driving a fucking great tank

barefoot reporter goes on the road

i don't often reveal personal details on this blog, but it's necessary this time, in order to set the background. bear with me, as there's a point to telling my story. i've had an idea...

i've been homeless before and i'm almost homeless at the moment, which is making it hard for me to relax

the first time i was homeless was a few years ago: i was living in Glastonbury (which i still do, more or less). i spent the first winter under a tarp (with a big woodburner) in the woods, at a place people call Dragon Hill. after that, i lived in various places around town in a tent, which i'd tatted from the leftovers of Glastonbury Festival. i eventually 'teamed up' with a chap i'll call Billy, who had drifted into town. we were two of the few people living rough near here who didn't have some abuse or mental health problem, who could keep a place tidy and not upset people

some homeless people are really fucking annoying to be around: one of the first places Billy and I lived was near the river. it was ok until a bloke i'll call Bouncearound Bob turned up with his tent and a dazed wreck of a woman, whose was skinny as a rake, and whose name i never learned. Bouncearound Bob was drunken, loud, unpleasant, stupid and had some similarly dodgy mates. he started shitting in the grass right by his tent and smashed the stile into the field to burn on the fire he'd lit in the layby. Billy and i left after a couple of days of that.

[incidentally, there's a way of having a crap when you're living in a tent - but that's another story]

after about a year of tent life, which i enjoyed in many ways (i love sleeping in fresh, cold air), during which time my tent was slashed and broken once by a couple of idiot kids, i eventually found my way into the benefits system and moved into bricks and mortar again. Billy had a quite different story: he stayed living in his tent in the same spot for a few years and began to build a life in town. he started painting and became quite good, and took part in the annual panto. however, his life here came to an abrupt end when the local paper reported that he'd been found guilty of viewing (and collecting) child porn, via a library computer. he's gone now and i feel a bit shocked and sick thinking about that whole business: what else had he lied about? i don't know if his story about why he originally went on the road a few years ago is true...i mean, i knew he had a troubled relationship with his mother (and women in general) but i hadn't imagined that...

and so fast forward to about a year ago. i split up with my then girlfriend Helen, and decided to move out of the house we'd been sharing with 3 others. it was a lovely place but i didn't feel happy living there with her. i went on to house-sit for a couple of months, then volunteering at the local community farm, where i lived in a caravan for a month, then a house-sit, and a bit of sofa-surfing with friends (which was really great, but at some point you have to stop), and then another house-sit...and another...and the last one ended a few days ago, and i'm now staying 30 minutes drive away, with a kind friend whose website i'm working on in return for a place to be. thanks, mate

so that's a bit of my story

anyway, here's the idea

i've messed around as a reporter before, and i've always enjoyed the challenge of telling a story. i enjoy radio most of all

what i would like to do is to travel around for a while and tell people's stories. i would use this blog, and a combination of video, still images, slideshows with soundtracks, and plain old text to tell them. i would like to show what people around the country are going through in these times, and it occurs to me that in that situation, being homeless is a big advantage. call it a modern version of Down and Out in Paris and London (although no way am i in Orwell's league as a writer: but then again he wasn't really homeless) with the internet as the storytelling medium

i'm not talking about pretend homelessness either: you're only homeless when you haven't got a place to go home to. you can't try being a homeless reporter for a week and then go back to your flat. you can do that on road protests and occupy-style actions, but a big part of homelessness is not being able to see a way out of it. believe me, if homeless people could find their way out of it, they would. it's the hopelessness and vulnerability of it that gets to you in the end. it's hard to keep your head together when you've nowhere you can call your own space, and when you never know what small thing might ruin your day. however, it seems to me to be an honest position from which to report on other people in difficult situations: and when you're homeless, you often meet people who are honest, kind and generous, regardless of how much they themselves have

i would like to travel and meet people, stay in with people (or outdoors) for a maximum of three nights, during which time i will do my best to tell any stories they think need to be told. sometimes it might be a portrait of the people i'm staying with, and i am sure that i will be sleeping rough now and then, which i will also report on. i've had plenty of practice :)

i will do my best to tell the positive stories as well as the negative ones: there are lots of kind, decent people who are also using these times of change to create a better life, community, and world

i would need some kind of access to the internet, but i'm confident that i can carry a netbook and a camera with me - and a cheap smartphone. i will try, as far as possible, to do this on no money at all, although i will take a few quid with me, just in case. i'm going to sell some stuff to raise the money for the bits and pieces i need

hopefully, as i tell the stories of ordinary people in our times, others will perhaps invite me to tell theirs. i'll publish them here

i would need a few people to function as 'ground control', to help coordinate. i'd like to work with people like Positive News and Positive TV to show the goodness and kindness that's out there too. the world is still full of wonderful people!

let me know if you want to help in any way, or if you're interested in how i get on: contact me by email rchisnall [at] gmail [dot] com

edited: i neglected to mention that i'll be hitch-hiking and travelling on foot, as far as possible. public transport is a last option - cities can be very big places when you're walking :)

a bit of poetry for David Cameron

you're not fooling me

---------------------

you're not fooling me, Dave, no, no way
we can see right through the little games you play
with your Eton accent and your tailored suit
and your clever PR and your Bullingdon boots

no, you're not fooling me at all

and you don't fool the people who built this land
and who got a raw deal cos they use their hands
to feed themselves, and they get no thanks
unlike the ones with the tanks and the banks

and you're not fooling me at all

and you can't fool the mother who's money's all spent
and you don't fool the nurse who can't pay the rent
and you can't keep doing this 'divide and rule'
and you can't keep acting like we're ignorant fools

no, you're not fooling us at all

and it doesn't fool us when you try to scare us
and the lizards of the press are trying to dare us
to turn this into a violent fight
so you can beat us all up and claim you were right

no, you're not fooling us at all

no you're not fooling us cos you're just the tool
of the bankers and the rich - it's the way they rule
but we know well that it must be tough
when you never ever feel that you've got enough

no, you're not fooling us at all

no you're not fooling us, we can see the pain
of fucking people over for personal gain
no you're not fooling us, and the saddest part
is that you wouldn't do if you listened to your heart

no

you're not fooling us at all